Don’t Read the Comments

The last week has been really weird. Awesome. Overwhelming. Scary. Cool. Annoyingly Navel Gaze-y.

Through a friend of a friend of a friend of mine from high school my last post was put up on the Huffington Post on Tuesday. My friends on facebook were amazing about sharing it. After a couple of days it had a more than 1000 likes and 200 shares. It was crazy. It was definitely the widest audience any post of mine has ever received.

And then last night A Mighty Girl shared the post on their facebook page. Suddenly the piece had 15 thousand likes and more than 1700 shares on facebook.

Let’s be honest here. People don’t blog because they want their words to go into a vacuum. We want to be read. I’ve been very happy with my teeny tiny and very kind readership over the last 4 years. But I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t wondered what it would be like to have a post read by a shitload of people, if I hadn’t hoped for it.

It would be disingenuous to pretend it isn’t a head rush of an ego boost. Turns out the reality is also deeply unnerving. I do not have a thick skin. And I read the comments.

For some reason the ones that hurt the most were those that thought I’d made the interaction up. You guys know honesty is my deal. I’m a lot of shitty things, but liar is not one of them.

Hey, these problems are pretty good ones to have. The bottom line is I’m thrilled this has happened. Next to that joy is also some trepidation. I can’t explain to strangers that I really love my kids and try to be a good mom. They only see the little slice I’ve given them. And if I don’t explain myself clearly enough in that slice it is my own damn fault.

I’m scared to write another post. This note doesn’t feel real because it is just an extension of the last one. I’m scared the last post was a fluke. I’m scared I’ll be influenced by the larger audience, scared my writing will change because I’m trying to reach more people.

This is what I’ve wanted. This is really cool. I also sort of fear I bit off more than I can chew.

I know the endless self promotion is gross, but tomorrow morning at 10:35EST I’ll be doing an interview about the piece on HuffPost Live. Did I mention how surreal this has been?

In other good news (Why do I feel so guilty about all the good news? Oh yeah, because I’m crazy) that academic conference I was terrified of presenting at? It happened on Thursday. The panel I was on could not have gone better. And I only had horrifying diarrhea once during the whole trip. That actually might be the absolute best piece of news of this crazy damn week!

freaks geeks

Z’s Father’s Day present. Hand lettered by Syracuse artist Cayetano.

z and e play

Last weekend Z and our dear friend E rocking out at Art on the Porches.

leonard cousins farmers market

E and G are visiting for the week. Leonard cousin time!

12 thoughts on “Don’t Read the Comments

  1. Congratulations!! You deserve to be read and followed, you are a great writer! I worry about negative comments too (thin skin?) and will take your advice about trying not to read them (yeah right). I look forward to reading your work :)

  2. I am so excited for you! Don’t listen to the trolls. Anybody who has been following you regularly didn’t think twice about this interaction being authentic. I have really enjoined your writing and I know a broader audience will as well.

  3. After reading even your very first blog posts, I thought… She’s going places. This will either just be huge or she’ll get a book offer. I’m actually surprised it took so long! ;-) You are an amazing writer; best of luck pretending that big audience still isn’t there. But, you’ve shown us how to work through lots of crazy stuff. Here’s just another EXCITING bump in the road of life.

  4. Congratulations! I’ve been following several month and have not commented before. I hope you never change with your real perspective on your life and times.

  5. Jim has been blogging for a good 8 years now and has quite a following, he still tells me about some of the nastier comments he gets, I try to tell him to ignore them but he still hasn’t learned his lesson. You are much smarter (I love my husband, but still) and I’m sure you will heed your own words.

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