Friends and parents: I need your help.
Here is my story…T definitely understands the word “No”. He doesn’t really care to stop doing whatever it might be that Z or I think is a bad idea, like playing with the cat food or water, crawling into the unbaby-proofed pantry, or pulling the safety plug thingies out of the sockets. We usually have to remove him from the situation and try and distract him. But he will pause when we say “No” and he will also wave at us. He has actually started waving as soon as he’s started doing something he knows he shouldn’t. It does crack me up that he sells himself out that way. Sometimes I haven’t realized he’s doing something forbidden until I see the wave. I can only pray he will continue to tell on himself when he’s a teenager.
Anyway, we are at the stage where he knows he shouldn’t do something and he does it anyway. And more than half of the time when we stop his behavior he has a little tantrum at us. Not the most charming of stages. I know he is too little to understand why we don’t want him to do things. He probably thinks we are pretty arbitrary and mean, although we try and be as consistent has possible. He has to be as frustrated as we are, or maybe even more frustrated because he doesn’t understand the whys of any of this.
We are stumbling through the best we can, but he has started doing something that is completely not cool with me. He has a sweet little friend who is just about the same age. They both are at the point where all they want in the world is to play with whatever is in the other one’s hand. Totally normal, totally fine. The un-fine thing is he has started to hit her in the head right before he grabs whatever she is holding. I firmly (and I admit loudly) say, “No!” and try to distract him with something else, but I don’t know what else to do. I ended up removing him from her immediate area, but it seems like such a crappy solution because I want him to get used to playing with another kid. I am comfortable with him being with me full time until he is 2, and then I think it is important to get him into a preschool a few times a week to get him socialized, but Z is already worried he doesn’t spend enough time with other kids. I understand this is a stage, that this too shall pass, but I am looking for another solution so I don’t have to pull him away from her. What would you guys do it this situation? I need experienced parent help!
This shirt is one of my all time favorite gifts for T. It has a lovely appliquéd hammer and was made by an artist in Providence. Man, we miss Providence…
Now on to the second question and a tiny bit more about Love:
First of all, we are major NPR people in this house. I mean, we aren’t just listeners we are members. Scott Simon, host of Weekend Edition Saturday, is out with a new book about the adoption of his two daughters called “Baby We Were Meant for Each Other” and he has been all over the radio doing interviews about it. A few days ago he was the guest on Fresh Air and he was talking about the exact moment that his eldest daughter was placed in his wife’s arms. I am paraphrasing here but the gist of what he said was at that moment he loved his wife more than he had 20 minutes before, and he loved his daughter more than he had ever loved anything in his entire life.
It was particularly interesting for me to hear that so soon after writing about my feelings concerning love in the nuclear family. And I guess it really drove home to me what should be obvious, everyone’s feelings about love are specific to their own situation, and it goes without saying valid. And while my feelings about love in my little family haven’t changed since I wrote the previous post, it made me curious about how you guys think of love within your families.
As this is a two parter I thought a bonus picture was in order. Dude is really bald, huh?