At this point in my pregnancy with T I’d been diagnosed with preeclampsia and was on bed rest. The plan had been to pack our apartment in Providence to get ready to move to Syracuse in two weeks and my mom was joining us to help Z because I was so useless. We didn’t anticipate me being quite as useless as I was. We didn’t anticipate needing to be in Syracuse full time for twice weekly doctor visits. I didn’t anticipate having to exclusively pee in a jug for 48 hours so my urine could be tested. That was flat out gross. So Z was stuck packing alone and Mom drove me to Syracuse so we could check into the glamorous Extended Stay America. I got into bed and didn’t get out much until we drove to the hospital so I could be induced 6 days before my due date because my blood pressure was getting rather worrisome.
Bed rest is not glamourous or in any way enjoyable. Even for a lazy person it is fucking boring to just sit in bed all day. You sort of nap on and off and can’t sleep well at night. You read, you surf the net, you watch a shit load of TV. My mom brought me my meals in bed. I felt like I was a kid. And I felt like a tremendous hinderance. But being on bed rest meant I wasn’t moving around during the last few weeks of pregnancy. And this time not only am I moving around, I’m caring for T. Whenever Z is around I take complete advantage. I rest a lot on the weekends. Yet I’m in a surprising amount of physical pain. Which is making my hormones go crazy and my anxiety heighten.
I remember my sister being in her last month with her most recent son. She told me she didn’t think she could do it any longer. She just hurt too much. In the evenings after work she couldn’t even take care of her older son. And I had no idea what she was talking about. Another example of those smart friends giving me good information I’m too thick to digest.
So to add to my list of gross pregnancy stuff: On your second pregnancy your body has already stretched out and this means more ligament pain, you might feel many more pre labor contractions (I felt none with T, when I over exert myself, i.e. go to the grocery store with T, they start and don’t stop until I put my feet up), when the baby moves around it can be unbelievably painful, if he moves around and you are constipated you feel like you might die from the pain, you might get lightheaded for no reason, your heart might race like crazy (I believe that has to do with all the extra blood, your body makes 50% more during pregnancy and it’s extra work to get that stuff pumping). The bottom line is I feel worse right now than I did the day I found out I had preeclampsia. At that point my hands, feet, and ankles were really swollen, but otherwise I felt pretty darn good.
Last night our friends invited us over for a cook out. They set me up in a super comfy chair with a huge cup of ice water. And I started to feel worse and worse. I was short with T and Z, I wasn’t friendly at all. I was nauseous and I had a headache. At one point I realized I was so lightheaded that if I was standing I might have fainted for the first time in my life. We left pretty early and abruptly. And I’m so embarrassed by my behavior. What a drama queen. So the last gross pregnancy thing I’ll add is you might turn into a huge brat who is absolutely no fun to be around and who is pretty ashamed of herself the next morning.