For more than a month I’ve been working on a post about how hard it is to be a toddler. And I just can’t get it where I want it. There is other stuff I’d like to write about as well, but I’m feeling stuck. Having trouble getting the words down. And I have a new obsession in the form of Instagram which is taking up what could be blogging time. Yada, yada, yada. I basically have writers block.
In the meantime here’s a little excerpt of a conversation between Z and me this evening. He’s read it and agrees my transcription is pretty accurate. Yes, I am this much of a pain in the ass to live with.
Me, “Is my nose getting really big?”
Me, “Is my nose getting bigger? I always thought I had a little nose, but it looks really big now.”
Z, “Holy shit. I’m not going to answer that.” Pause “You nose can’t just GET BIGGER!”
Me, “I read that your ears and nose never stop growing. So yes they can. And I think mine is.”
Z, “Do you see the look on my face?”
Z, “That’s the look I get when I’m trying not to whap you upside the head.”
Z, “Look again, so you really see it.”
Me, “But look at this picture from our wedding compared to now!”
Z, “NO! No I will not! And look at my face again, because this face is very close to losing the battle not to whap you upside the head! LOOK AT ME!”
Me, “Whatever. I’ll ask someone else.”
So this is September 3rd, 2000.
As I was trying to find a wedding picture to illustrate my growing schnoz Z noticed what I was doing, “Really? Why are you doing this? Are you out of other things?”
He means out of other things to be crazy about. And I’m not. I’ve still got tons of stuff to be crazy about. But when we first started dating he always talked about my little button nose. And recently in pictures there isn’t anything button-like about my nose. Where did the button nose go? Is a huge nose part of middle age?
And this is today, 11 and half years later. What the fuck? Look at how much of my face is currently eaten up by my rapidly spreading nose!
This is a few weeks ago. If my nose can get that much bigger in 11 years how the hell is it going to look in another 11? I think I’m in major trouble here. And not just about the nose. Z keeps giving me the finger and the new improved I’m-strongly-considering-whapping-you-upside-the-head look. I’m not that worried, though. I think my nose will block the whap.