Saturday was one of the best days I’ve had in a long while. We woke up in the home of one of our best friends, Kevin. My Uncle, my cousin, and his wife and kids joined us for a leisurely walk to the farmer’s market in Charlottesville where we ate delicious things for breakfast and caught up with each other. In the afternoon we went to the home of a gal I went to high school with a million years ago. She and I were very close back then, in fact, we bankrupted the theater school honor society when we were officers. I know, a lot to be proud of. Because the world is truly a small place my cousin knows her through his eldest daughter so he came along. Kev brought his girlfriend Rebecca, who we were so excited to meet. And another friend from high school happened to be driving through on his way to vacation and he stopped by with his family. I’ve been friends with his wife on facebook for years, and it was so incredibly cool to meet her in person. He is one of my favorite people ever, so seeing him after 17 years was amazing. Watching all of our kids play together was simply lovely. In the evening Kev, Rebecca, Zeke, and my cousin went to see Steve Marin’s bluegrass band while I watched some Food Network while the boys slept.
If you ever are in Charlottesville and have kids or a husband like Z, this is one awesome carousel.
Robinson Ram progeny play together.
I love these people. This picture brought to you by the wonders of Facebook.
I’m not trying to sell you guys a bill of good here, the day wasn’t perfect. T had an accident in Kev’s spare room during nap. Rather than call out so we could help, he smeared poop all over the carpet, himself, and the wall. Kev was a trooper about it. I was humiliated. In other pooptastic news, my anxiety reared her ugly head big time. I managed the farmer’s market portion of events quite well. I was feeling extremely proud of myself for just leaving the house with a group and socializing. It really helped that we walked. Not involving cars makes me feel less trapped. But as soon as we arrived back at Kev’s the anxiety diarrhea started. On the upside, we were at Kevin’s. He really is as close as family, so I’m not embarrassed at all to have uncontrollable diarrhea mere feet from him. I know he’ll just hold his nose and still love me. In fact, my son rubbing shit into his carpet is one of the few remaining ways I could feel embarrassment around him. Kudos to T for finding that one thing….
I took some imodium. After half an hour it wasn’t working so I took a bonus pill. And I was freaking out as we got into the car to go get beer to bring along. Heart racing, sweaty palms, dry mouth, the works. But the absolutely awesome news is the anticipatory anxiety didn’t get in the way of me having a rockin’ time with my friends. And that is the really important thing. Did I need a chill pill on Saturday night? Yes. But whatever, it was a really big day for me. I did things. In public. With other people. And had fun.
Sunday morning we were on our way down to Winston-Salem to see Z’s parents by 9:15am. And a few minutes into the trip my stomach was upset again, despite the 3 imodium on Saturday. Not only that, I had a full on panic attack. We had 5 hours to drive so I was able to do some thinking. You know, in between listening to the children cry from the backseat. Saturday was full of awesome, but it was emotionally exhausting. I didn’t feel like I was putting on a show or pretending to be someone I wasn’t at either social event. It was easy to be myself in front of my family, who I adore, but also in front of the friends I hadn’t seen for many years. The anticipation was shattering to me, but the revelation is the events themselves were more than worth the anxiety.
That said, I was pissed on Sunday. Pissed that I had to deal with anxiety both before and after. Pissed because I know the whole week we are in DC will be an anxiety roller coaster and I won’t be staying at Kevin’s where I can safely have diarrhea to my hearts content. Pissed because I’m still shaky when it comes to driving stick, which is adding to the anxiety. DC traffic is hideous. I’m not going to know where I’m going. I’m going to have two of the most important things in the world to me in the backseat. And I’m going to be praying that we don’t have to drive on a single hill. I’m scared and I’m still pissed all this is so hard for me. But. But. But, Saturday was a taste of putting myself out into the world. It was hard, it was awesome, and the main thing I need to keep reminding myself was it was worth it.
The lovely Rebecca got the boys the coolest sunglasses ever!
Of course, Kev and I needed to try them out.
What a fantastic group of people.