Last night after a meltdown in which I wept my way through making pork roast, rice pilaf, and sauteed broccoli with red pepper flakes in a little sesame oil, after I’d taken the chill pill that Z begged me to swallow, after I’d given him the laundry list of everything that was overwhelming me-everything we had to do before leaving town on Saturday, after we’d gotten the boys down including my sick little C whose temp had spiked back up to 102.8 Z joined me in the bathroom where I was swallowing my nightly pile of pills.
Me, “I’ve been doing something I haven’t told you about for the last few days.”
Z, “Oh lord.”
Me, “No, it isn’t anything bad.” At this point I was fighting the giggles. “Um, have you heard of..” I was laughing so hard I was having trouble getting the words out, “um, oil pulling?”
Z, “What? What the fuck is that?”
Me, “It’s an Ayurvedic technique.”
Z, “Jesus Christ, is this some hippie shit you heard about from J?” (Yes, J-he totally threw you under the bus).
Me, “Actually, no. I read about it on the internet.”
Z, “Ok, you are no longer allowed to use the internet ever again.”
Me, “Why is this a big deal? You don’t even know what it is! You just swish oil around in your mouth for 20 minutes a couple of times a day. It’s supposed to pull out toxins and stuff and make your mouth healthier.”
Z, “Gross.” pause “What kind of oil?”
Me, “I’ve been using coconut oil. It kind of makes me gag until it liquifies, but I just do it while I’m showering. It’s fine. And my mouth feels clean. And it is supposed to help with snot. You know about my snot problem.”
Z, “Why do you fool around with this crazy natural shit?”
Me, “I’m sorry? I believe you quite enjoy the no shampoo situation.”
Z, “Well, that isn’t gross.”
Me, “Whatever. I’m doing it. And now you know.”
Z rolled his eyes so hard as he left the bathroom that he might have given himself a concussion.
It’s been a draining week. But not in the my-mental-illness-is-making-everyone’s-life-hell way, just regular everyone is sick and apprehensive about the huge holiday trip we are taking staring tomorrow way. Normal draining is kind of a relief after the post biopsy week trip to crazy town. I was diagnosed with a sinus infection on Monday. C woke with a high fever on Wednesday and was diagnosed with an ear infection. The doc terrified me because she thought he had the flu on top of it. Of course, on the way to the appointment I’d heard a piece on NPR that said thousands if not tens of thousands of Americans would die of the flu this year which did not help my mental state. I kept repeating plaintively “But he’s had his flu shot! He’s had his flu shot!” Evidently there are two strains going around our community that weren’t in the shot…But his antibiotics are doing their thing, he is much better. Luckily it would appear the flu isn’t involved.