So is facebook. Weird, but great. I was reminded again during my birthday this week. I’m a fan of the FB birthday drill. I try to leave a note on the walls of my friends on their day. Something beyond just “happy birthday”, something a bit more personal. I love birthdays, so anything I can do to help celebrate someone else’s is welcome in my book. And it is such a thrill to get all those birthday wishes. This year a number of folks who I didn’t know paid me mind on FB wished me a happy day, I know it is a little thing but it really touched me. I mean, my tattoo artist who both Z and I sincerely like and wish we lived closer to so we could develop a real friendship with, but who was just doing me a kindness when he accepted my request in the first place, when he wished me a happy birthday it really gave me the warm fuzzies. When a friend from high school requested a new blog post with her birthday wishes it surprised me and made me feel really good. Of course, she was probably hoping for something a little less bleak, but there you have it. So yes, facebook rocks.
Some of my close friends from 20 years ago and I have reconnected in an unsurprisingly easy and really rich way. This year my family stayed at the home of a dear friend of mine and fellow Robinson Ram, and his family stayed at our home as well. I am profoundly grateful to have him back in my life-he is truly one of my favorite people on the planet. I look up to him and I wish I was more like him. It’s always good to have friends who inspire you to try and be a better person. And his wife is someone I immediately wanted to be friends with. I love meeting spouses of pals when the friend did such a fine job finding someone awesome to spend their life with. Z and he seem to genuinely like each other and his kids and my kids get along really well, that only sweetens the deal. I’m delighted that we are back in touch, but it somehow makes a lot of sense.
Then there are those folks who are a big fat surprise. Yesterday a gal who I couldn’t call a friend in high school-more of an acquaintance-put herself out by driving to my in-law’s house with her husband and kids to hang out for the afternoon. It still sort of blows my mind that we are friends all these years later. We were so different from each other back in the early 90s that I don’t think we were able to see through to the many parts of ourselves that were alike. She was (and is) beautiful and popular and loud and confident and she scared the shit out of me. The truth is I was jealous of her. I’m ashamed to admit it was because I knew I’d never be those things. And I wanted to be those things. It’s nice that I’ve grown up enough that I can sort of move past the small and unkind impulses I have. If I let my jealousy get in the way now I’d be missing out on one hell of a friendship.
Because it turns out we like each other. I don’t mean to speak for her, but it would seem we like each other an awful lot. We like each other’s husbands. We like each other’s kids. We don’t parent the same exact way, but we dig each other’s parenting styles as well. We actually want to spend more time together. Talk was had of a longer summer visit of some sort. Little homemade presents were exchanged. It was fucking awesome.
So yes, facebook. Another tick in the “I love it” category for facilitating a friendship with someone I was too jealous and stupid to like 20 years ago. Naturally she blogs. In fact, she is becoming a pretty big blogging deal-friends with some of the big guns and her readership is exploding. Do you know what is really cool? Instead of being eaten up by envy I’m sincerely happy I am for her.