Under 11 Minutes

Friends, have you been thinking about starting an exercise program? Have you not done it? Perhaps because you’ve been psyching yourself out for, oh, about two decades? I am here to tell you that you can do it. Seriously. You. Right there. You can do it.

A month ago I couldn’t run for two blocks without stopping. This morning I jogged for more than 1.5 of 2 miles.

I’m not trying to blow smoke up your ass about how easy it is or how it will transform your life or figure.

Here’s the truth. I weigh more now than when I started. My jeans are tight. I’m kind of pissed about it. When I jog my thighs rub together. The junk in my trunk moves up and down so violently I’m scared I’m going to be bruised. I’d gone less than one tenth of a mile this morning when I told myself it was too hard, there was no possible way I was going to make it. My chest was tight, I wished I had my asthma inhaler with me.

Here’s the truth. Somehow I did it. I kept going until the mapmyrun lady informed me I’d reached a mile (further down the path than yesterday-mapmyrun’s GPS doesn’t seem to be terribly accurate). When the lady interrupted the music I realized I’d only heard two songs, a third was just starting, And then she told me the time-I’d broken 11 minutes.

More truth: I’m not kind of pissed I’ve been working out for a month and have actually gained weight. I’m really pissed. Super duper pissed. But. When I heard the time this morning I didn’t give a flying fuck. I was amazed at what my middle aged body could achieve.

I am amazed that I am sticking with it. I am amazed that I am doing something really hard. I’m amazed that I’m starting to feel pretty damn terrific, weight be damned. And dare I say the anxiety hasn’t been as acute? It might be a placebo effect-I’ve been told exercise will help me for so long I absolutely believe it. It’s not like I’m not taking a chill pill every day anymore. It’s not like I don’t have anxiety attacks. I had a pretty nasty one just last night. But overall I really do feel better.

I’ve been putting off doing cardio for nearly 20 years. I used to say that if someone was chasing me with a gun I would simply lie on the ground and ask them to shoot me rather than run away. I don’t think I was joking. And yet, here I am thrilled because I’m actually doing this jogging thing. Believe me, I was a hopeless case. I promise, if i can do it you can do it.

broke 11 min

Red faced, dripping with sweat, no filter, and fiercely proud of myself. I have been boring my friends to tears on Instagram and FB with the selfies post workout. I am sorry about that. But the advice and encouragement I’ve been getting have helped me troubleshoot and stick with it.

boat tree house in progress

Z is making the boys a boat treehouse. Looks like it is going to be pretty fantastic.

A little progress video.


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