T, “John Smith is a boy and I am a boy.” (I’m calling his classmate John Smith for privacy reasons. Actually John Smith isn’t working for me. I’m going to call him Jebediah Snodgrass. Yes, that is better.)

T, “Jebediah Snodgrass is bigger than me.”

Me, “Yup. He is.”

T, “Is Jebediah older than me?”

Me, “Nope. He is your age.”

T, “Why is he bigger? He is a boy and I am a boy.”

Me, “Because people come in all sizes. Everyone who is a certain age isn’t a certain size. You know X? She is a girl and Mommy is a girl and she is bigger. You know X? She is a girl and Mommy is a girl and she is bigger.” (Ok, I’m now using X because I’m in a hurry and can’t think up a couple of cool names.)

Grandpa, “And you know your Aunt X? She is a girl and your Mommy is a girl and your Mommy is bigger.”

Me, “Um, Dad? We were talking about height. But thank you. Thank you for that.”

Now, my Dad really is a terrific guy. In his defence everyone puts their foot in their mouth sometimes. I make quite an art out of it actually. But it is a special occasion when you shove your foot so far down your throat that it comes out of your butt. Today was Dad’s lucky day.

And Mom? Thank you for smacking the back of his head when you heard the story. He totally deserved that.

vader and grandpa

Get him Darth Vader!

When this boy grows up and stops looking just like Tweety Bird it will be absolutely heartbreaking for me.


Current Level of Crazy

My sister and I were standing in the hall having a hurried conversation about god knows what yesterday. I suddenly smelled my armpits and rudely interrupted her with this short and rather manic monologue:

“My armpits really smell right now…even though I used drysol*. I use drysol every day, you know. I think it is giving me cancer. I mean, I think I have cancer right now. For the last week I’ve been thinking non-stop about how the cancer is eating me from the inside. I am now dying of cancer.”

She stared at me for a moment with her mouth open a little bit. “It would be fascinating to be inside your brain.”

So yes, the crazy is really rearing her ugly head and messing with my mind. I actually believe I am dying of cancer. Right now. I know it is ludicrous. I know that it probably isn’t true. The problem is I can’t help but believe it with my whole being.

*drysol is a prescription strength antiperspirant.  I’m gross enough to get a prescription for my hideous sweating problem. And vain enough to use it even though I know it probably is really bad for me.

huge bubble

We took the big boys to a children’s museum on a rainy afternoon. T made this awesome bubble.

beach rainbow

Later that evening there was a beautiful rainbow.

tidal pool

A tidal pool formed in front of a sandbar during low tide today and the boys did not want to get out of it.

cousins kiss goodbye

Today was our last day at the beach. My sister and her family took off after dinner tonight and the rest of us are out of here first thing in the morning. The big boys gave each other a huge hug goodbye and then very sweetly kissed goodbye as well.

The trip was awesome. I’m really sad that Z missed out on seeing his boys fall in love with the shore.